Monday, 4 April 2016

Those Bee Guys From Eve Online Definitely Winning War

The CFC, who have gone from strength to strength in the past two weeks, have assured their members that they are very much winning the [unnamed war].

The Mittani, giving his ninth morale speech of the week, praising the coalition's recent efforts to defend their space:
"Over the past week in particular, we've demonstrated more than ever Goonswarm is your worst enemy and your worst friend. Although we had to abandon Vale and Fade to defend more important areas of space, our new Swordfleet doctrine has seen tremendous success. The wrecks of our interceptors have actually started clogging the foe's guns leaving them helpless to wildly inaccurate bombing runs. "
The Moneybadger Coalition has been hampered by the recent setbacks, and according to themittani.com may be becoming fragmented. "It looks like we won't take VFK until the 20th April now, a delay from our original target of the 19th April. Morale is low," Elise Randolph stated. "Hopefully we'll be able to pick up the pace at which we take regions soon."

CO2 leader Gigx also shed some light on why CO2 abandoned The Mittani's protection for a disorderly rabble of a coalition. "It's sort of just an act of collective suicide", he explains. "We got bored of playing so rather than just disappearing like Razor, which is pretty boring, we thought we'd do something that's sure to completely remove us from the game. Once the CFC deal with the Moneybadgers I'm sure mittens will turn up to personally drop kick us into Jove space."

Mittani's vengeance isn't just limited to members of the Moneybadger coalition though. Elo Knight and his merry band of men have turned to highsec, to suicide gank everyone who shows support for the Moneybadgers. "We heard the real good guys were winning pretty hard up north, so we just decided to come down here and gank some miners. It's sort of like how when you want to kill a weed you have to go for the roots rather than just the leaves." With Goonswarm standing on the brink of victory in [the current war], many in the MBC are praying for a miracle. And by God they'll need one.

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