Sunday, 15 December 2013

N3 Members 'Literally Seething with Incapacitating Anger'

Heads were turned today in The Mittani's latest CEO update, in which he promised to obliterate blobs of Archons with the iron fist of the Naglfar. The announcement, which came just hours before a crucial timer in DY-P7Q, caused N3's fighting ability to be impaired.

Many members reacted with great rage to the post, and began insulting the Clusterfuck Coalition as well as The Mittani himself. "The Mittani is a massive faggot" claimed one line member. "It's like everything he does is designed to try to stop us. I despise him, his corporation, his alliance and his coalition. Also, he's a dick"

This is believed to be the reason N3 did not show up for the DY-P7Q timer earlier today. Despite alarm-clocking and pinging members twelve times in eight hours about the fight, N3 leadership instructed their members to take to the comments section on the themittani.com post and Kugu to remind the CFC they hate them. An N3 director, who wished to remain anonymous, informed the Eve Onion of the situation:
"We were really hyped for the fight. Hundreds of people had pulled an all-nighter just to shoot the CFC and Rus .Then we read the GSF CEO update. And we shook. Shook with rage. How dare these impotent fools try to take on the mighty forces of the 300. We whined about it internally for a while, then we realised no one could hear us so we took to the public stage. We were so busy delivering justice through words that we forgot to form-up for DY-P7Q, but it's okay because we didn't really care about that system anyway."
Eve News 24 also joined the anti-CFC bandwagon, but it appears it was done by accident. "I thought I was writing in the 'tinfoil' Skype chat (AKA EN24's main room) but then I checked the main site and someone had posted what I'd written! Then I realised it was me who posted it" admits writer Free. "I think it was pretty good, riverini shouted at me for not mentioning suicidegate but our un-brainwashed readers seem to agree with me."

It seems N3 are slowly recovering from this shock and are mustering their slowcat fleet to tauntingly dance around before the CFC arm themselves with Omegafleet. After seeing the reaction it stirred, The Mittani hinted he would consider releasing CEO Updates at the rate of one a day to permanently paralyse N3 with rage.

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