Thursday, 5 November 2015

Excerpt From Fountain War Book Leaked

An extract from Jeff Edward's controversial new book based on Eve was posted to reddit earlier today, recounting the early days of the Fountain war.

"Dabigredboat looked up from his screen. He had just read how Imperium forces had been successfully contested a shield I-Hub timer in NOL-M9 on New Eden's premiere news site, www.themittani.com. 'I'm sure glad The Mittani's smooth leadership and charisma is enough to keep 35,000 faggots in line', he mused to himself.

Noting Test would probably be too cowardly to come out for another fight for today, the captain returned to his antiquated 42,000 year old PC from the planet known as Earth. Although most of the components had to be replaced, his Nvidia graphics card, noted for its extreme processing ability and sheer durability, still worked just fine. He loaded up his favourite game H1Z1, awarded the 'Most Timeless Zombie Survival Game Award' in YC113. He was in the privileged position of having a special 'His Regards' Machete, which he redeemed from the themittani.com welcome pack along with a decent helmet and an alright shirt.

Meanwhile Kcolor, one of the leaders of the Imperium's bombing squad, was sitting cloaked in a backwater system in Delve. Suddenly, an enemy Nyx-class ship warped to the anomaly he was in. Kcolor tried to motivate himself to summon a fleet of Imperium ships to destroy the krab but he could not do it; he had fallen victim to Hearthstone's exciting and entertaining gameplay. 'It's okay, it's Test so he'll probably forget to turn his tank on and get killed by Blood Raiders', he told himself."

Backers have praised the writing style, with the author managing to sell even a fairly unexciting part of the war. Although some have complained about the amount of product placement in the book, The Mittani has reassured backers there will be no adverts in the actual book for those who pledge more than $200 to the kickstarter, and only one advert every three pages to those who donate $50.

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