Wednesday, 25 March 2015

Bastion Member Kicked for Being 'Too Happy' on Stratop

Unconfirmed rumours today stated that a member of the Bastion, the CFC's prized elite rapid-deployment force, was removed from the coalition when he appeared to be too euphoric on a CFC stratop.

After removing an SBU in Fountain, the anonymous member reportedly said 'so proud of you mates, you're doing gods work keep it up' on Mumble, barely able to contain his joy at adding another structure to his killboard. Coalition kingpin Mister Vee then noted the name of the misguided, elite PVP loving fanatic.

Vee passed on this information to Valiant and Noble Defender of the CFC Digi, who performed counterintelligence work on the renegade. After spending 19 hours on the case he passed on his findings to Bastion leader Carneros. With a tip of his fedora and a 'm'lady' to Goonwarm leadership, the rogue member was gone.

Later in the day The Mittani revealed he was personally insulted by the lack of effort put into invading Fountain, and talked of his urge 'twist the knife' in someone. He later expanded on this a little more, saying "Just to be clear: this time we're not going to stab them in the heart over and over again until they stop moving; we're just aiming to cut the index finger off N3's left hand, then maybe we'll give that to Pizza."

Meanwhile in N3 DARKNESS. and The Kadeshi members have been advised to train Advanced Docking to a minimum of level 3 and preferably to level 5 in preparation for the war. The leaders of said alliances have reportedly been spotted lying down by the side of the road in a bid to make it as difficult as possible for them to be thrown under an approaching bus.

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