Friday, 26 July 2013

Several Corps Abandon Test and Join Brave Collective

Due to the loss of 24 systems last week and the internal strife that has been afflicting Test, several corps, including Di-Tron Heavy Industries and Enlightened Industries have either been kicked from or left Test. Statements from four of the five exiled corps announced that they would be joining the Brave Collective, an alliance mainly composed of Brave Newbies Inc.

The CEO of Di-Tron Heavy Industries said "No one seems to care about Fountain any more, no one bothers shooting those fucking bees. We've tried to participate in the war, but we're completely unsupported. With Beffah stepping down from mildir and someone stealing enough stuff to completely bankrupt us again, Test is completely fucked and fuck them. Fuckers." There certainly have been a multitude of alarming events that have struck Test this week. Without N3's support, Goonswarm Federation have managed to take hold of 24 systems this week, and are now attacking 6VDT-H (also known as Jerusalem), the capital of Fountain.

They were also shaken by Beffah's departure from Test, who accused BoodaBooda of betraying her by replacing her with a new military director. In the controversial forum thread, someone jestingly commented "Kick ENL-I", which is often thrown around by members of Test. It seems that a director in Upvote, the holding corporation for Test, took this comment seriously and proceeded to give them the boot from the alliance. Once the director realised his mistake, he tried to rectify it by inviting them back to the alliance, but the damage had been done. A couple of bump Stabbers slowly moved an ENL-I bridge titan out of its shields, but no Test members answered the ping to kill it. The Titan logged out two hours later unharmed.

Enlightened Industries, Di-tron Heavy Industries and two other smaller corps have announced they will be joining Brave Collective within the next day. The CEO of Enlightened Industries said "Perhaps it's time we stopped tryharding and actually had fun. Well, we weren't tryharding before, only pretending to, but it's time we stepped out of the closet and admit we don't give any fucks about anything. All of our population that cared about making money in Fountain left when the CFC declared war anyway, so the members that remain are quite content to be completely broke but blow stuff up all day."

Ponywaffe, the one departed corp that did not join the Brave Collective, say they are going to start a guild on WoW because they are 'tried of all the violence in Fountain', and commented "can't we all just be bros and not care about isk?"

Leaked diplomatic logs also indicate that Dreddit, the biggest corporation in Test, may also be leaving the alliance soon. The conversation shows BoodaBooda and Jinli Mei, speaking with Codo Yagari, head of one of the weaker alliances in the ProviBlock; Yulai Federation. The logs show that Dreddit would be allowed to join the alliance if they paid the 1bil joining fee for corps that were KOS to CVA. Unfortunately, it seems they had to postpone the move because they didn't have enough money to pay the fee; according to PacketNinja's estimates it will take around 2 months to raise that sum of money.

12 comments:

  1. I didn't know you had changed from writing fake news to predicting the future.

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  2. you reallly have noting better to do with you life do you ?

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    1. sorry boodabooda, plz dont hurt again

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  3. http://evemaps.dotlan.net/corp/Di-Tron_Heavy_Industries

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    1. It clearly hasn't updated yet you mug.

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  4. This is not true, Di-Tron are joining WoW also.

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  5. I had a slight smirk as I read this, but then laughed my ass off at the Ponywaffe line.

    I thought we'd managed to keep that a secret, but I guess even a corp like ours has spais

    o/ EvE, Watch out WoW, here we come!

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  6. As the CEO of Di-tron heavy Industries I object to having words I never said put up as fact, if you contest this I would love for you to post the log and screenshots of me saying this, which I am positive you will not be able to do as I am 100% pro TEST, feel free to mail me ingame to authenticate this post as actually me.

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    1. IT. IS. A. SATIRICAL. NEWS. SITE. Dpn't be so literal, dipshit.

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  7. The CEO of Enlightened Industries said "Perhaps it's time we stopped tryharding and actually had fun. Well, we weren't tryharding before, only pretending to, but it's time we stepped out of the closet and admit we don't give any fucks about anything. All of our population that cared about making money in Fountain left when the CFC declared war anyway, so the members that remain are quite content to be completely broke but blow stuff up all day."

    There is not enough swearing in that to come from Lovelocke.

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  8. As 2nd in command and 2nd majority shareholder of DTHI, I endorse and approve of this post.

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