Do You Want to Write for Us?

Are you literate?

Do you like the The Eve Onion?

If you answered yes to both of those questions, we'd like to hear from you. We want to expand so we can produce more good quality, reliable and in-depth news articles. Wink wink. We're looking for people who can write to a good standard on gaming related related satire topics. Ideally we'd like you to write at least 1 article per month, but you're welcome to do more.

If you'd like to apply send a sample article to preferably along with your Eve character name. This article should be around 400-800 words and should be satirous in nature and topic. If you're of high enough quality you shall join the prestigious news agency that is the The Eve Onion.


  1. Once there was an angry cock.

  2. Some people feel that in this ever more secular age we shouldn't talk about these things. I completely disagree. I believe we should be more confident about our status as a Christian country, more ambitious about expanding the role of faith-based organisations, and, frankly, more evangelical about a faith that compels us to get out there and make a difference to people's lives.

    First, being more confident about our status as a Christian country does not somehow involve doing down other faiths or passing judgment on those with no faith at all. Many people tell me it is easier to be Jewish or Muslim in Britain than in a secular country precisely because the tolerance that Christianity demands of our society provides greater space for other religious faiths, too.

    Crucially, the Christian values of responsibility, hard work, charity, compassion, humility and love are shared by people of every faith and none – and we should be confident in standing up to defend them.

    People who, instead, advocate some sort of secular neutrality fail to grasp the consequences of that neutrality, or the role that faith can play in helping people to have a moral code. Of course, faith is neither necessary nor sufficient for morality.

    Second, as Christians we know how powerful faith can be in the toughest of times; I have known this in my own life. From giving great counsel to being the driving force behind some of the most inspiring social-action projects in our country, our faith-based organisations play a fundamental role in our society. So in being confident about our Christianity we should also be ambitious in supporting faith-based organisations to do even more.

    Third, greater confidence in our Christianity can also inspire a stronger belief that we can get out there and actually change people's lives, and improve the spiritual, physical and moral state of our country, and even the world.

    I am a member of the Church of England.

    1. Third, greater confidence in our Christianity can also inspire a stronger belief that we can get out there and actually change people's lives, and improve the spiritual, physical and moral state of our country, and even the world.

      I am a member of the Church of England.

      So basically what you are really saying is that you want to change people's lives by ganking their belief system and making them believe in your belief system so that they can be made to give you money so you can sit around on your fat ass and not do anything except throw you hands up in the air saying "Mehhh" where the masses then give you more money? Go get the nails, hammer and cross so we can nail you up before the masses.

    2. Fucking James 315 New World Order cock whores.

  3. If you are not entirely satisfied with your purchase, simply return the unused item in its original packaging within 90 days unless noted below. A receipt is required for all returns and exchanges. Refunds will be issued in the same method of payment as the original payment.

    Sorry, we cannot accept returns on used bedding (linens, comforters, pillows, and pillow tops), cut fabric, products from the As-Is department, and custom countertops.

    For transactions with an original receipt*: Purchase made with cash: a cash refund will be issued. Purchase made with a credit card: a credit will be issued to the original card. Original card must be present at time of return. Mattresses may be exchanged one time within 90 days of purchase for a store credit towards the purchase of another mattress. No refund will be issued. Please refer to the Love it or Exchange It Mattress Return Policy. ID is required for identification purposes only. This is required for all returns and exchanges made in store. Information from your ID will be retained in a company-wide database to be used only for authorizing returns. We reserve the right to refuse a refund without a receipt.When a promotional item included in the original transaction is not returned, the value of the promotional item will be deducted from the refund amount.

  4. For aesthetic or economic reasons, contemporary circus productions may sometimes be staged in theatres rather than in large outdoor tents. Music used in the production is often composed exclusively for that production, and aesthetic influences are drawn as much from contemporary culture as from circus history. Animal acts appear less frequently in contemporary circus than in traditional circus.

    Oz, forged in Australia in 1978 from SoapBox Circus and New Circus, both founded in the early 1970s; the Pickle Family Circus, founded in San Francisco in 1975; Ra-Ra Zoo in the UK in 1983, Nofit State Circus in 1984 from Wales; Cirque du Soleil, founded in Quebec in 1984; and Archaos in 1986. More recent examples include: Teatro ZinZanni, founded in Seattle in 1998; Quebec's Cirque Éloize; Les 7 doigts de la main (also known as The 7 Fingers);[25] and the West African Circus Baobab[26] in the late 1990s. The genre includes other circus troupes such as the Vermont-based Circus Smirkus (founded in 1987 by Rob Mermin), Le Cirque Imaginaire (later renamed Le Cirque Invisible, both founded and directed by Victoria Chaplin, daughter of Charlie Chaplin), the Tiger Lillies, Dislocate,[27] and Vulcana Women's Circus,[28] while The Jim Rose Circus is an interesting take on the sideshow. Swedish contemporary circus company Cirkus Cirkör was founded in 1995. U.S. Company PURE Cirkus[29] was founded in the subgenre of "cirque noir" in 2004, and in Northern England, (United Kingdom), Skewed Circus[30] combines punk, rap, dance music, comedy, and stunts to deliver "pop-circus" entertainment to young urban audiences.

  5. Breaking News: The Mittani Announces the End of Goons. Full Article Here:

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